If I die in the immediate future-and there’s always a chance I could--I hope to be found on the MyDeathSpace index. I’m just throwing that out there; I wouldn’t want there to be a Schiavo-esque debate over my last wishes. I insist upon being featured on the site, so that I may forever be reduced to whichever stereotype I’ve perpetuated upon myself ( Read more... )

Besides being the most important and dramatic amendment to the manners in which we communicate information, the internet is best used for people above a certain income level to express - often using mispellings used so frequently they cease to be ironic - the subtle horrors of a miserable life in the middle class. Look no further than Weekend Web ( Read more... )

Here's something my old pal Dan Caffrey told me: not everything is AMAZING. And if it is, the "amazing" thing in question deserves a more thorough description. How credible would I be to say that the new Kanye West album is "amazing"? I've heard the term thrown around more than a tennis ball, ripped to shreds like my dog would to the green orb, and ( Read more... )

There's a pattern to my sleeping in that I'm not doing much of it. I could blame it on the pressures of everyday life, but we all know the real reason: demons! Thanks to Mr. Tom Cruise and the Church of Scientology, I am now aware that psychiatry is a psuedo-science, much like how Dane Cook is a psuedo comedian (there's nothing funny about trying ( Read more... )

Sometimes, sometimes, I will have an imperishable yearning to write but - what's this? I am often without a thing to say. Most of my writing feels, to me, like small talk. "Oh how is the weather here, you ask? It's shitty. So did you hear about this or that? Isn't it interesting?" My life, as it occurs, is just fine and yet my brain, as it works, ( Read more... )

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I bet I'll get more comments on this crap than anything I put serious thought into ( Read more... )

...And so what is it, exactly, that makes me, my words, my expressioms and essentially my being so forgettable?

* * *"Don't click. Don't read that - you're just going to upset yourself ( Read more... )

To say the least, I have not been myself lately. With new years comes alchohol, with work comes caffiene, and with being a college student comes multiple anti-depressant/anti-anxiety perscriptions. With love comes war, and with war comes this extended ego; My charming self-deprication quickly implodes into inward rage and self-loathing. No more ( Read more... )

I don't think empathy really counts when I'm thinking stuff like; "Gosh, I feel so bad for those people in Asia...and dang does SNL suck this season."